Like rain falling down on a river. The drops would get lost in the madness of the small flowing waves, now belonging to something bigger than themselves. Look into my eyes and see past their colour and my pretty smile, look within myself and grab the tiny fragments of my heart I still have left, maybe they still work.
Do you want to feel me every morning? Would you like to smell my hair on your navy sheet coloured pillows, get lost in the gap between my shoulder and my neck and giggle as I stretch out my arms to cuddle you, sleepy, like I’m still in a dream? Like I’m still in a dream and I pulled your face in it with me, so we could both wonder at what my mind can come up to now.
Would you want my heart as much as you want my body? Would you have me naked within, feel the pain in my gut and gently touch it with your fingertips, before it burns you too? If you could feel my heart, or at least if I’d let you, you’d look up cowardly at me not being able to understand or bear the struggle that I carry with me every day. You don’t have to. Just know it belongs with me, and if you choose me, you’ll also choose to sometimes suffer with me.
You’d be happy. I am great at having fun and, more importantly, making other people have fun. I’d tell you funny stories and steal your attention with naughty looks from different sides of the room, tempt you to touch me knowing other people might hear us. I’d excite you and tease you, I’d tell you things you’ve only read about but never believe actually exist, I’d reach inside you and pet the devil you hide, like it was mine all along, you’d never have enough without me.
Are you worried? Don’t be. You’ll be my fantasy, I’ll build you a shrine covered in lights and candles, pretty so I could look at it all the time. I’ll always be pretty for you and gentle with your thoughts, when the world thinks you can still take the roughness of it. I’ll be strong for you when your ego falls and you need cover to take a breath. I know you are expected to behave every time you are not just with yourself. You don’t have to do that with me.
You have to promise me you’ll stay. It’s a big condition and I’m not sure I am the one for you, so pardon my audacity for asking. But if you’ve had me in your bed the same as in your mind, you owe me the next touch and everything that comes with it, everything that hides behind your palms and your weary blue eyes, you must promise me you’ll stay.
Fall in love with me, choose me every day like you choose to keep the same shirt in your wardrobe for years, because someone you love gave it to you.
Fall in love with me and choose me every time, so I can fall in love with you.
Cenușă 